Cat and Mouse
by Red Dragon - Jura
Summary: Gazing through the window with a blank – almost natural Or at least it should feel that way gaze, Sam sighed, a pit of anguish gnawing at his stomach. He couldn't do it. He couldn't take away Dean's happiness. This was his burden and his only. Post 5x22
1. Prologue

Cat and Mouse

**Summary:** Gazing through the window with a blank – almost natural (Or at least it should feel that way) gaze, Sam sighed, a pit of anguish gnawing at his stomach. He couldn't do it. He couldn't take away Dean's happiness. This was his burden and his only. With a soft flutter of wings, he was gone.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything!

**AN/Story Background: **After seeing Sam watching Dean at the end of 5x22 and getting over the initial shock of 'Oh my god! He's alive!', I started thinking about how and why he was back.  
My initial thought, probably like most, was that he was Lucifer, but decided that that couldn't be right because season 6 is going away from the apocalypse and 'How would they kill him if he can't even stay in his cage?', as well as the fact that Sam 'won'.  
So then I thought – because of the lamp bulb – either he's a demon, Sam with demon powers, an angel or half angel/half demon. And then I just had to write this story, so I was like 'which is the best possibility?' and this was the brain child of those thoughts.  
And because I loved the whole 'Chuck narration', I've kept the layout in a similar way to the finale.  
Hope you like it! Please review!

Prologue:

_No doubt endings are hard. But then, nothing ever really ends, does it?  
Despite all signs saying otherwise, we now enter the second part of our story, in some ways darker than the first but, all the same, about two brothers and their love which knows no bounds._

_At first, Dean tries to ignore it, telling himself that he won't not look back on his past life but to Sam, and the promise he swore to keep. But as the days and months go by, he finds it harder and harder: voices, eerily like Sam's and that of Angels, whispering to him at night. The feeling of someone watching over, protecting him, much like he used to do himself. And then the sightings; a mop of brown hair, hazel eyes peering through the dark, Sam himself. At first he tries not to believe. But soon, he knows he must. But every time he tries to search for Sam, it's fruitless; he begins to think himself crazy._

_Sam also tries to ignore it, that small urge he has to reveal himself to his brother. One day, he almost makes it to the front door. But he can't. He won't. In Sam's eyes, Dean deserves everything and he won't let him be pulled back into this life; no matter how much Sam knows he needs Dean. Or how much he knows Dean needs him. But as the days and months go by, just like Dean, Sam finds it extremely difficult to stay away. So he stays invisible, a perk of his new found status, only goes at night and watches over his brother like Dean used to do for him. But it's not enough. He watches him during the day, almost getting caught many times, until he's explicitly told to stay away; told that Dean's looking out for him. His heart breaks as he thinks of his brother, desperate and broken, pleading for Sam to appear.  
And then one day, everything changes._

**Hope you like the prologue!**

**The first chapter should be up on Monday!**

**Please review!**

**Holly**


	2. Chapter 1: Sam

Cat and Mouse

**Summary:** Gazing through the window with a blank – almost natural (Or at least it should feel that way) gaze, Sam sighed, a pit of anguish gnawing at his stomach. He couldn't do it. He couldn't take away Dean's happiness. This was his burden and his only. With a soft flutter of wings, he was gone.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything!

**Chapter One  
**

_It was dark, cold and felt of nothing but evil. Lucifer was gone, no longer an inhabitant of Sam's body. But his spirit was still there; lurking, rotting, taunting.  
Sam pleaded for him to stop, his only solace that of Michael's hand on his shoulder. Michael was still possessing Adam, unable to access his own power and escape. It seemed inevitable, their fate, but in some ways Sam relished in that fact; because he knew his brother was safe. And then suddenly, a hand grabbed him, burning with a golden glow; everything else, faded away.  
_  
When Sam opened his eyes, he was surprised to find himself squinting to see through the intense light above him. He was surprised to see that he was not in hell.  
Slowly, as his eyes adjusted, Sam began to make out a person hovering above him; familiar yet different.  
"Cas..." He breathed as he realized who it was. "What happened to you?" The angel seemed to be bathed in a warm glow and was emitting a sense of calm and joy, something Sam had never noticed before.  
Castiel grinned, a strange thing for the angel, showing that he really had been changed by his months with the two Winchesters. "God"  
The answer was simple, but Sam immediately understood.  
"Is this heaven?"  
Castiel nodded, eyes glistening like a child at Christmas. "Home sweet  
home"  
Sam felt a small tug at his heart. So this was it? After everything they'd been through, Castiel was just going to leave them high and dry. Did they mean that little to him? Anger quickly surfaced an animal trying to get loose. "So that's it? You're back in heaven so you're not looking after Dean? After everything that's happened, everything he's done for you! You're just gonna leave him when he needs someone the most!"  
While Castiel was completely taken aback by Sam's abrupt anger, he forced himself to keep his cool and stay with the task at hand.  
"Dean can look after himself" Sam expected that reply, he didn't expect the next. "And it is you that I have been ordered to help".  
"Me?"  
"Think about it Sam. You're in heaven. You immediately noticed I was different and well..... Look down".  
While the smile on Castiel's face made him uneasy, he knew very well to trust the angel and so he obeyed, gasping as he did so.  
His form was neither corporeal or incorporeal, more of a strange glowing essence that resembled what he had last been wearing but was still solid, while below him silhouetted on the floor, were 2 large wings nearly 10 inches in length and also surrounded by an ethereal glow.  
"I'm an... Angel" The young man stuttered, wondering how in the world this could have happened.  
"Yes. God ordered me to raise you from the pit and bestow this new life on you in return for your service"  
Sam found himself immediately replying, a strange force of peace within him telling him that this was his best option, his reward. "Anything".  
"For now you need to get used to your new life. You will know when you are needed". Smiling at the young man, he turned and went to walk away when Sam called.  
"Cas!" The arch angel turned. "What about Dean?"  
Cas continued to smile. "I believe he has respected your final wishes"  
Sam also smiled and in a flutter of wings, allowed his inner Angel to take him away.

The street lamp flickered and fell silent; Sam stood beneath.  
He tilted his head and sighed. He was trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible, but at least it wasn't as bad as what Cas had done sometimes; especially when he'd first met Dean.  
Dean.  
Gazing through the window with a blank – almost natural (Or at least it should feel that way) gaze, Sam sighed, a pit of anguish gnawing at his stomach. He couldn't do it. He couldn't take away Dean's happiness. This was his burden and his only.  
Dean had sacrificed everything he'd had for Sam, for the world. It was time Dean finally got something back, and Sam wouldn't ruin that.  
With another heavy sigh, he fumbled in his jacket for something, pulling out a worn leather cord with a small golden amulet attached to the end which he then manoeuvred around his head.  
Sam smiled as he watched the amulet dangle and sway before settling.  
Now he would always have a piece of Dean with him.  
Looking towards the window, he let a small smile grace his face. Dean looked happy and while Sam could only wish it was with him, he was glad that Dean was finally having the life he deserved.  
Turning away from the window, the young man disappeared, the only indication that he had been here being a small grey feather that lay on the sidewalk for a minute before being cast into the sky by the wind, much like the life of its owner.

When Sam arrived back in heaven, Castiel was already there to meet him.  
"Are you sure you've made the right decision?" The arch-angel asked, knowing where Sam had been but not being angry or disappointed, merely concerned; much like Dean had always been to his little brother.  
"He's happy" Sam replied, casting his eyes to the floor. "I won't take that from him". His eyes lifted slightly and he palmed the small golden head that now rested on his chest, glowing slightly due to its location. "Dean deserves everything I can't give him; family, friends, a life. Now he has a chance for that. I'm not gonna take it away. Not after everything"  
"You are a selfless man Sam and someone I am proud to call my friend." Castiel placed a hand on the young man's shoulder. "Have faith. If you and Dean are meant to meet up, you will. Trust in Father. Everything will work out."  
Sam nodded, closing his eyes and breathing deep; feeling the grace inside of him. "You're right" He whispered and let go of the pendant before opening his eyes. "But Dean deserves this. I'm not gonna take it away from him unless I have to". Sighing, the young angel bit his bottom lip before staring into the eyes of the older. "So what's happening now?"

_For the next few months Sam acted much like any other Angel. He lived in heaven, fought demons, helped the innocent, and protected the earth. It was so much like his old life that sometimes he forgot how different things really were. Forgot that he didn't have Dean. That he was something supernatural rather than human. That he was alone. But then there were times that he did remember; times when he reflected. It was during these times that the memories became too much and Sam couldn't help but break down. _

_Some days, he stood across the street until he could pull himself together, debating whether to go or not. One day he almost got to the front door. But he wouldn't do it. And every time he broke down, he managed to build himself up again and put on a vacant face, hiding his emotions behind a brick wall. But no matter how much he tried to hide it, the pain was still there, raw and dark. And then one day, the wall broke, and Sam couldn't mend it._

"Where are they?" Sam growled, holding the demon's throat in a telekinetic hold.  
The demon choked and spluttered until Sam released the pressure slightly allowing it to cough out "Go to hell."  
Sam merely grinned. "You wish"  
"What do you think Dean thinks about all of this Sammy?" The demon also grinned, knowing it was hitting a nerve. "Oh wait. He doesn't know you're alive does he?"  
"Shut up!"  
"You failed him Sammy. He asked you to stay safe when he died and you couldn't even follow that. You had to get revenge" The demon chuckled. "And now look what you've done. Gone and screwed up your brother's life."  
With an angered yell, Sam flung his arm out and sent the demon flying across the room. "Shut your mouth!"  
Spitting out blood, the demon merely continued to taunt him. "Sure, he's got a life now, he seems happy. But inside, he's hurt. He thinks he's failed you; thinks he's failed dearest mommy and daddy. Truth is Sammy, you failed him."  
Sam was suddenly assaulted with the memories from Maryland. Lucifer rising, Dean looking at him disappointedly, Sam himself feeling disgusted....it was all too much. "Enough!"  
The demon suddenly was pinned to the way, it's bones slowly twisting and cracking, but it still carried on. "You went and started the apocalypse and in doing so got yourself killed, and poor Deanie's left with the mess." It pouted at Sam and said childishly. "How selfish of you."  
Sam was now breathing heavily, arms by his sides and fists clenched. This demon was seriously pressing the wrong buttons, but no matter how much Sam wanted to kill him, he couldn't. Castiel had ordered him to get information on a cult's whereabouts from this demon and Sam couldn't do that if the demon was dead.  
"Maybe I'll go pay him a visit; cheer him up. That darling little boy of his would be fun to play with."  
"You won't touch him!" Sam growled, thinking of Ben who was now his nephew by marriage.  
"Well Sammy, there'd be nothing you could do to stop me without revealing yourself to him"  
"I'm gonna rip you apart" The mere whisper held so much malice that Sam's powers continued to increase their force on the demon making his bones snap even quicker.  
The demon screamed at the pain that was now resounding throughout it's host's body. "And what about the rest of us? You can't defeat us all." It was breathing deep to try and compensate for the pain and while Sam knew that the host itself must be in ten times more pain, he couldn't help but carry on pushing, wanting the demon to feel as much pain as Sam could make it feel without killing it. "Kill one and ten will rise. No matter what Sammy, Dean will feel pain. And you will fail once more."  
Then, all of a sudden, the dam broke and Sam's inner pain and anguish was released.  
"NO!" The scream that tore from Sam's throat was filled with so much pain you'd think that he was the one being tortured. But Sam's pain was emotional, not physical and in some ways that was worse.  
A bright blast of energy filled the room within seconds before dissipating as soon as it had came, leaving a scorched pile of bones and a panting Sam on the floor.  
"No...no....no" Sam murmured, memories surfacing and pain lashing out in tidal waves. "No...no..." Tears cascaded down his face, leaking through the gasps between his fingers, hands gripping the top of his face and hair; nails digging in and breaking skin, drawing blood.  
"Dean..." He sobbed, thoughts of his brother being torn up by hellhounds filling his mind. "'m so sorry...so sorry..."  
He'd failed. Everyone he'd ever loved. "Dad....Mom...." Just as much as Dean was supposed to protect him, Sam was supposed to do the same for Dean. He hadn't, he'd failed. Every time he'd tried to do something for his brother, he'd always chosen the wrong decision. Ruby, demon blood, Lucifer, leaving for heaven....everything...  
For once, he had to do something right.  
He had to protect his brother from everything that could hurt him.  
But at the same time, if he dragged Dean back into this life, he'd be taking away one of the things Dean truly needed; love. And he could just be putting him in danger anyway.  
Sam really felt like he couldn't win.  
Lifting his head to the sky, eyes puffy and red, he whispered. "Father, please tell me what I am supposed to do. I feel so lost..."  
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, nodded and then disappeared with a flash of light and a flutter of wings.

The light flickered out once more.  
Sam watched as Dean turned the lights out, locked the door, made sure everything was fine, just like any normal person would do, before going upstairs to bed. He couldn't help but sigh, Dean looked happy.  
Who was Sam to ruin that?  
But maybe he could...?  
With a deep breath, Sam disappeared, minutes later appearing in Dean and Lisa's bedroom as Dean slipped into bed and closed his eyes, completely not noticing Sam as he stood in the corner.  
With a second breath, Sam touched the grace within him and walked forward to his brother.  
"Dean..." The young angel let out a small tear as he watched his brother resting peacefully; something he'd hardly ever seen when they were on the road. Wiping the tear away, he smiled and brushed a few strands of hair from his brother's eyes, causing the older man to murmur "Sammy".  
"Don't worry big brother. I'm not gonna let anything hurt you. Not even myself..."

**Hope you liked the first chapter! Sorry it's a bit late!**

**Please review!**

**Holly**


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